[Kecy] Nedorozumeni a anglictine

[Ladislav Dobias <Lada zavinac Dobias bod info>]

Ahoj,

par anglickych neprelozitelnych. Prosim, drzte se zidle, at 
me nezalujete, ze jste spadli :-)


Hello, are you there?
-- Yes, who are you please?
I'm Watt.
-- What's your name?
Watt's my name.
-- Yes, what's your name?
My name is John Watt.
-- John what?
Yes, are you Jones?
-- No I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name then?
-- Will Knott.
Why not?
-- My name is Knott.
Not what?
-- Not Watt, Knott.
What?



Arab in US embassy for visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Does not matter, male, female sometimes camels.
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........ isnt it hostile
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh.......... dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast



A:George Bush
B:Condi
C:Secretary

C: Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
A: Good, send her in.
C: Yessir.
B: Good morning, Mr. President.
A: Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
B: Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
A: Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
B: Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
A: Well, that's what I want to know.
B: But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
A: Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
B: Yes.
A: I mean the fellow's name.
B: Hu.
A: The guy in China.
B: Hu.
A: The new leader of China.
B: Hu.
A: The Chinaman!
B: Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
A: Whaddya' asking me for?
B: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
A: Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
B: That's the man's name.
A: That's who's name?
B: Yes.
A: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
B: Yes, sir.
A: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
B: That's correct.
A: Then who is in China?
B: Yes, sir.
A: Yassir is in China?
B: No, sir.
A: Then who is?
B: Yes, sir.
A: Yassir?
B: No, sir.
A: Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black 
neither.
   I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
   So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the 
phone.
B: Kofi Annan?
A: No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
B: You want Kofi?
A: No.
B: You don't want Kofi.
A: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get 
me the U.N.
B: Yes, sir.
A: Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
B: Kofi?
A: Milk! Will you please make that call?
B: And call who?
A: Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
B: No, Hu is the guy in China.
A: Will you stay out of China?!
B: Yes, sir.
A: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
B: Kofi.
A: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
B: Hello. Rice, here.
A: Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi.
   Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.
   Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.


Zdravi
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